Proxemics -- How We Use Space

By Jill Bremer, AICI, CIP

Bremer Communications

There are three ways in which we communicate with others - verbally, in written form, and nonverbally. Nonverbal communication includes gestures, eye contact, posture, facial expressions, listening skills and the use of space. Skillful communicators know how to use space to their advantage. They are able to influence the behavior of others and “read” the messages others send to them through their use of space. Proxemics is an often-overlooked form of communication, but an important concept to master in the business world.

Interpersonal Space

U.S. Americans generally divide personal space into four distinct zones. The Public Zone starts at about twelve feet from the person and stretches back to the limits of sight. The Social Zone reaches from four to twelve feet. The Personal Zone range is from two to four feet. The Intimate Zone stretches from zero feet to two feet away. When people are not aware of these zones and the meanings attached to them, violations may occur. The result is tension and suspicion. We’ve all felt uneasiness in the movie theater, elevator or airplane when the stranger on either side inadvertently touches us. Our personal bubble of space has been invaded and we feel uncomfortable and resentful.

Most U.S. business relationships begin in the Social Zone. As the relationships develop and trust is formed, both parties may subconsciously decrease the distance to the Personal Zone without any uneasiness. Managers and co-workers who enter the Personal Zone too quickly risk conflict and distrust. When a space violation happens, the “victim” often develops a feeling that things are not quite right but can’t put their finger on the cause. Attention then shifts to the other person and their behavior and away from the conversation. The result is often a complete breakdown in communication.

Personal zones of space vary from culture to culture. When U.S. Americans interact with people from other cultures, they need to be aware of how the other parties view space. Low-contact cultures (North American, Northern Europeans, Asian) favor the Social Zone for interaction and little, if any, physical contact. High-contact cultures (Mediterranean, Arab, Latin) prefer the Intimate and Personal Zones and much contact between people. Misunderstandings can occur when these two groups interact and either invade or avoid space and contact. Violations can also occur between people of the same culture. Differences in personality can lead to different interpretations of personal space and touching. The solution lies in being able to read others’ styles and level of flexibility.

Seating Arrangements

Our choice of seats is another area of proxemics to consider. Where we sit in relation to other people can aid or hinder communication. A comfortable and relaxed arrangement for two people at a table is to sit corner-to-corner. This allows for maximum eye contact and other nonverbal signals, a good arrangement for cooperative work. In a side-by-side arrangement, body language is difficult to read and physical proximity is close. This position works when both parties need to focus on the task at hand and not on each other. Across-the-table positions are common in competitive situations. Nonverbal signals can be closely monitored and the table provides a safe barrier. Unintentional conflict can also develop between two people who sit across from each other.

People who need to work independently may choose to sit across from each other but not directly opposite. This kind of seating provides a kind of isolation that allows both parties to concentrate on their work. In a group setting, the head of the table is usually reserved for the leader of the group. That seat brings with it a sense of power, status and influence.

Territory

Human beings are territorial animals and like to protect and control their space. Have you ever felt angry when you re-entered a meeting and found “your” seat taken by someone else? Have you felt offended when a co-worker or boss entered your office without knocking or when you discovered him pawing through your file cabinets? The territories we stake a claim to at work give us a sense of permanence and control. When that territory is invaded without permission, feelings of loss and anger are the result. People value their privacy and personal territory at work. Honor the space and belongings of others and you’ll enjoy working relationships filled with respect and trust.

Jill Bremer, AICI, CIP, owner of Bremer Communications, offers training, consulting and coaching in professional image development, communication and presentation skills. Her clients include Oracle, Abbott Labs, W.W. Grainger, U.S. Department of Energy and the National Association of Realtors. She can be reached at 708-848-5945 or at www.bremercommunications.com

For more information and practical projects you can do to discover the make-up of the complex culture in your community, I would refer you to: Kauffman, J. Timothy. Reconnecting the Church: Finding Our Place in Complex Culture. Bloomington, IN: Xlibris, 2010. It can be purchased at Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, the iBooks Store, and Xlibris.com; it is also in Kindle and Nook format. Check it out.

The Use of Space in Complex Culture

We want to take a look at space in this post. Proxemics is the study of the relative proximity of people to each other. Both the use of physical and emotional space are included in proxemics. One example is the way Anglos have traditionally used physical space (among Anglos it can vary from family to family, to say nothing of different cultures). My experience in planning the use of space for five congregations and 700 people from 25+ countries each weekend confirms its importance.

Think of how people seat themselves in waiting rooms, for doctors, buses, trains and airports. When a waiting room is filling up, one should leave at least one empty seat between one’s self and another person. Only when those options have been exhausted, may one sit down right next to a stranger.

One of the first social scientists to study proxemics was Edward T. Hall in the early 1960s. He reports that “while members of many of the diverse groups that make up United States society may sound basically alike and look alike, beneath the surface there lie many unformulated differences in the structuring of time, space, and relationships.”[i] This information is even more helpful in negotiating our way when people do not sound or look like us.

Hall also points out that people in the United States have strong feelings about touching and being crowded; think of entering a crowded streetcar, bus, or elevator. Good form is not to “invade” someone else’s space.

Each culture has different patterns for the use of space. It is one form of non-verbal communication. With scores of cultures living in our major cities, suburbs, and even small towns, one can see how easily inter-cultural communication at the non-verbal level can be distorted or space violated.

Space ownership has implications even in the Church. It happens when an unwitting visitor sits in the seat of a member, and then faces the glare of that member. As a pastor, I cringed when that happened, because I am aware of how that the new person must feel. They will most likely not return.

How people use space communicates in much the same way as the tone of one’s voice. One of the hallmarks of a “reconnecting” church is a desire to bring diverse people together, and a plan to bring them into proximity with each other.

Most of us are not even aware of how we use space. This is true mainly because it happens almost without thinking. I would hope, for example, that the person who moves a visitor out of “their favorite seat” is unaware of the consequences, or he or she would not do it. Again, it is possible to see how easily misunderstandings in the use of space can happen in complex culture.

If possible, learn some of the customs of the people from other cultures you interact with on a regular basis. Your efforts will be doing something more significant than just avoiding difficulties. You will be helping the other person to feel more comfortable around you. This will be another essential trait of “reconnecting” churches. In order to be able to help people be more comfortable when they come to your church, you need to spend time with the people of those cultures and learn their customs. In so doing, you become more sensitive to how other cultures interact with one another, and will be better prepared to negotiate the subtleties you experience when interacting with new people bring. Paul knew how to “be all things to all men,” because he studied culture.

My next post will be an informative article by Jill Bremer which will offer additional specifics on the kinds of space, positioning, and distances in the business sector. However, the complexities of ministry everywhere make an understanding of this subject a high priority.

How have you observed the use of space in your ministry?

Would there be any value in teaching about issues surrounding space?

Would you be willing to share an embarrassing moment you experienced?

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[i] Edward T. Hall. The Silent Language. New York: Anchor Books, 1959.

Complex Culture and the Roman Empire

Let me describe to you a world in which communication has been standardized and one language has become common in doing business across almost all international boundaries. Transportation has made the world much smaller. Goods, services, and people are able to be moved in larger quantities much more quickly than in the past. One dominant currency, relative peace, and safety have made world trade and unprecedented prosperity possible. All of this has made it possible for people from all over the world to move anywhere. Ethnic diversity has become an increasing phenomenon in the big cities.

I just described the Roman Empire of the first century. The world of the Early Church was anything but homogeneous. Religious pluralism, poverty, moral perversion, greed, ethnic and racial diversity, and much, much more was the context in which Paul, John, Peter, and the rest of the early church fathers ministered. Our place of ministry today has much more in common with them, than at almost any time in history since the fall of the Roman Empire.

Robert Linthicum expresses this thought in the following way:

"The biblical people of God were themselves urban people. David was king of Jerusalem as well as an empire. Isaiah and Jeremiah were both prophets committed to Jerusalem. Daniel was appointed mayor of the city of Babylon by King Nebuchadnezzar. Nehemiah was a city planner, a community organizer and governor over Jerusalem… John could only envision God's ultimate plans for humanity as an indescribably beautiful city."

"Most of Paul's letters were written to city churches giving instructions on how the church should act and minister effectively in a city. The Psalter is filled with songs about "Mount Zion" – Jerusalem – the city of God's dwelling” (Linthicum, 1989: 2-3).

If the ministry context of the New Testament is very similar to ours, the question becomes, “How were they successful?”

There were many reasons for their success. One was their missionary zeal. Paul was sent with Barnabas on their first missionary trip from the city of Antioch (Acts 13), by a multi-cultural church board. Paul used various urban strategies to start churches wherever he went. Here are a few of them:

1. He was on the leadership team in Antioch, the third largest city in the Roman Empire. This church had members from three continents and several ethnicities.
2. In Philippi, a Roman Garrison city, he planted the first European congregation. Luke tells us that Lydia, a woman of the upper class was the founding and leading member. The church also included a slave, and a jailor who was probably a freeman, or middle class. It became a classless house church.
3. Elsewhere, Paul describes church membership as being from all social strata.
4. He often began his ministry in the synagogue among the Jewish population and God-fearing Gentiles. After he was told to leave, he continued in a home or a rented hall (house churches). Because they included Jews and Gentiles, those congregations were multicultural as well.
5. In Athens, he went to Mars Hill to speak with the Athenian philosophers about their “unknown god.” We have here an example of how He was able to contextualize the gospel message to his audience.
6. Sometimes he stayed in a city for a few months and left for the next city.
7. He also stayed in Ephesus for three years. Paul used the city of Ephesus as a megaphone to preach the gospel. During that time, others took the message into the interior of Asia Minor.
8. As a prisoner in Rome, Paul sent out Tychicus, Epaphroditus, Aristarchus, Lukas, Demas, and Markus to minister in the streets of Rome. They would bring the new converts to him for discipling while he was in chains.

The bottom line here is that in different situations, Paul used different strategies and varied structures to plant the Church. They all exemplified Paul’s statement, “In Christ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28).

Is it okay for the Church today to be structured in more than one way?

Is it too radical an idea to think of local church leadership as being inter-cultural?

Complex Culture and the New Testament Church

In the Old Testament God spoke to us through His Old Testament prophets about being kind to the "stranger (Hebrew "ger") within the gate."[1] The Hebrew word "ger" came to be applied to those who had chosen to identify themselves with Yahweh and adopt Judaism's ceremonial law.[2] The aliens were to be included in family religious rituals and in responsibility before the law.[3] Aliens were also allowed to participate in the presentation of sacrifices to Yahweh and in celebrating the Passover.[4] "You and the alien shall be the same before the Lord: The same laws and regulations will apply both to you and to the alien living among you" (Num. 15: 15b-16).

God's love and inclusion was extended impartially to Israelite and alien alike, "For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing" (Deut. 10:17-18). God then charged Israel to love the alien in the same way He loves them.[5]

The most important passage which Jesus uses is the one He reads to characterize the purpose of His ministry: "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor..."[6] This passage ties together with the second great commandment to answer the question, "Who is my neighbor?"[7] Blessedness, righteousness and loving our neighbor as seen by Jesus seem to be something independent of nationality, culture, or gender.

Jesus gave us the Great Commission to, "Go and make disciples of all nations (pan ethne, or all peoples)." He meant we were to evangelize anyone and anywhere the opportunity presents itself.

In Acts, we see how Peter was being instructed to include the Gentiles,[8] as full participants in the salvation of the Kingdom of God.

We read later that this was not only to be in separation, because it became a reality in the church at Antioch. We are told (Acts 13:1) that there were Christians from several continents in authority in that congregation. Barnabas was a Cyprian Jew. Some scholars suggest that Simeon could easily have been a black African. Lucius of Cyrene we know was a North African and probably a Roman citizen. Manaen was either a friend or a colleague of royalty of unknown ancestry, and Saul was a staunch Jewish Pharisee who formerly persecuted the church. And it was this church that first sent out missionaries to the Gentile world!

We have seen, in a previous post, that the Roman world was similar to our world. The Early Church included all equally, “Jew and Gentile, male and female, slave and free.” The culture embraced the concept, and the Church grew very rapidly. There is every reason to believe that our culture would also embrace a biblical church that includes everyone, as well.

What do you think?

If the culture will embrace it, will the Church as well?

Would an inclusive Church like this be attractive to the MTV-generation?

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[1]"Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt" (Ex. 22:21).  "Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen.  Leave them for the poor and the alien" (Lev. 19:10)

[2]"An alien living among you who wants to celebrate the Lord's Passover must have all the males in his household circumcised; then he may take part like one born in the land" (Ex. 12:48)

[3]"on the tenth day of the seventh month you must deny yourselves and not do any work--whether native-born or an alien living among you--because on this day atonement will be made for you to cleanse you" (Lev. 16:29-30).

[4]"If any of you--either an Israelite or an alien living in Israel--presents a gift or a burnt offering to the Lord, either to fulfill a vow or as a freewill offering, you must present a male without defect from the cattle, sheep or goats in order that it may be accepted on your behalf"  (Lev. 22:18-19).

“An alien living among you who wants to celebrate the Lord's Passover must do so in accordance with its rules and regulations.  You must have the same regulations for the alien and the native-born" (Num. 9:14).

[5]"And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt" (Deut. 10:19).

[6]This is the extent of Jesus' quotation, but the Isaiah passage goes on, "...and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor" (Is. 61:2b-3).  

[7] Luke 10:30-38.

[8]Acts 10:9-23.