By
Jill Bremer, AICI, CIP
Bremer Communications
There
are three ways in which we communicate with others - verbally, in written form,
and nonverbally. Nonverbal communication includes gestures, eye contact,
posture, facial expressions, listening skills and the use of space. Skillful
communicators know how to use space to their advantage. They are able to
influence the behavior of others and “read” the messages others send to them
through their use of space. Proxemics is an often-overlooked form of
communication, but an important concept to master in the business world.
Interpersonal Space
U.S.
Americans generally divide personal space into four distinct zones. The Public
Zone starts at about twelve feet from the person and stretches back to the
limits of sight. The Social Zone reaches from four to twelve feet. The Personal
Zone range is from two to four feet. The Intimate Zone stretches from zero feet
to two feet away. When people are not aware of these zones and the meanings
attached to them, violations may occur. The result is tension and suspicion.
We’ve all felt uneasiness in the movie theater, elevator or airplane when the
stranger on either side inadvertently touches us. Our personal bubble of space
has been invaded and we feel uncomfortable and resentful.
Most
U.S. business relationships begin in the Social Zone. As the relationships
develop and trust is formed, both parties may subconsciously decrease the
distance to the Personal Zone without any uneasiness. Managers and co-workers
who enter the Personal Zone too quickly risk conflict and distrust. When a
space violation happens, the “victim” often develops a feeling that things are
not quite right but can’t put their finger on the cause. Attention then shifts
to the other person and their behavior and away from the conversation. The
result is often a complete breakdown in communication.
Personal
zones of space vary from culture to culture. When U.S. Americans interact with
people from other cultures, they need to be aware of how the other parties view
space. Low-contact cultures (North American, Northern Europeans, Asian) favor
the Social Zone for interaction and little, if any, physical contact.
High-contact cultures (Mediterranean, Arab, Latin) prefer the Intimate and
Personal Zones and much contact between people. Misunderstandings can occur
when these two groups interact and either invade or avoid space and contact.
Violations can also occur between people of the same culture. Differences in
personality can lead to different interpretations of personal space and
touching. The solution lies in being able to read others’ styles and level of
flexibility.
Seating Arrangements
Our
choice of seats is another area of proxemics to consider. Where we sit in
relation to other people can aid or hinder communication. A comfortable and
relaxed arrangement for two people at a table is to sit corner-to-corner. This
allows for maximum eye contact and other nonverbal signals, a good arrangement
for cooperative work. In a side-by-side arrangement, body language is difficult
to read and physical proximity is close. This position works when both parties
need to focus on the task at hand and not on each other. Across-the-table
positions are common in competitive situations. Nonverbal signals can be
closely monitored and the table provides a safe barrier. Unintentional conflict
can also develop between two people who sit across from each other.
People
who need to work independently may choose to sit across from each other but not
directly opposite. This kind of seating provides a kind of isolation that
allows both parties to concentrate on their work. In a group setting, the head
of the table is usually reserved for the leader of the group. That seat brings
with it a sense of power, status and influence.
Territory
Human
beings are territorial animals and like to protect and control their space.
Have you ever felt angry when you re-entered a meeting and found “your” seat
taken by someone else? Have you felt offended when a co-worker or boss entered
your office without knocking or when you discovered him pawing through your
file cabinets? The territories we stake a claim to at work give us a sense of
permanence and control. When that territory is invaded without permission,
feelings of loss and anger are the result. People value their privacy and
personal territory at work. Honor the space and belongings of others and you’ll
enjoy working relationships filled with respect and trust.
Jill
Bremer, AICI, CIP, owner of Bremer Communications, offers training, consulting
and coaching in professional image development, communication and presentation
skills. Her clients include Oracle, Abbott Labs, W.W. Grainger, U.S. Department
of Energy and the National Association of Realtors. She can be reached at
708-848-5945 or at www.bremercommunications.com
For more information and practical
projects you can do to discover the make-up of the complex culture in your
community, I would refer you to: Kauffman,
J. Timothy. Reconnecting the Church:
Finding Our Place in Complex Culture. Bloomington, IN: Xlibris, 2010. It can be purchased at Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, the iBooks
Store, and Xlibris.com; it is also in Kindle and Nook format. Check it out.
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