We
want to take a look at space in this post. Proxemics is the study of the
relative proximity of people to each other. Both the use of physical and
emotional space are included in proxemics. One example is the way Anglos have
traditionally used physical space (among Anglos it can vary from family to
family, to say nothing of different cultures). My experience in planning the
use of space for five congregations and 700 people from 25+ countries each
weekend confirms its importance.
Think
of how people seat themselves in waiting rooms, for doctors, buses, trains and
airports. When a waiting room is filling up, one should leave at least one
empty seat between one’s self and another person. Only when those options have
been exhausted, may one sit down right next to a stranger.
One
of the first social scientists to study proxemics was Edward T. Hall in the
early 1960s. He reports that “while members of many of the diverse groups that
make up United States society may sound basically alike and look alike, beneath
the surface there lie many unformulated differences in the structuring of time,
space, and relationships.”[i]
This information is even more helpful in negotiating our way when people do not
sound or look like us.
Hall
also points out that people in the United States have strong feelings about
touching and being crowded; think of entering a crowded streetcar, bus, or
elevator. Good form is not to “invade” someone else’s space.
Each
culture has different patterns for the use of space. It is one form of
non-verbal communication. With scores of cultures living in our major cities, suburbs,
and even small towns, one can see how easily inter-cultural communication at
the non-verbal level can be distorted or space violated.
Space
ownership has implications even in the Church. It happens when an unwitting
visitor sits in the seat of a member, and then faces the glare of that member. As
a pastor, I cringed when that happened, because I am aware of how that the new
person must feel. They will most likely not return.
How
people use space communicates in much the same way as the tone of one’s voice. One
of the hallmarks of a “reconnecting” church is a desire to bring diverse people
together, and a plan to bring them into proximity with each other.
Most
of us are not even aware of how we use space. This is true mainly because it
happens almost without thinking. I would hope, for example, that the person who
moves a visitor out of “their favorite seat” is unaware of the consequences, or
he or she would not do it. Again, it is possible to see how easily misunderstandings
in the use of space can happen in complex culture.
If
possible, learn some of the customs of the people from other cultures you
interact with on a regular basis. Your efforts will be doing something more
significant than just avoiding difficulties. You will be helping the other
person to feel more comfortable around you. This will be another essential
trait of “reconnecting” churches. In order to be able to help people be more
comfortable when they come to your church, you need to spend time with the people
of those cultures and learn their customs. In so doing, you become more sensitive
to how other cultures interact with one another, and will be better prepared to
negotiate the subtleties you experience when interacting with new people bring.
Paul knew how to “be all things to all men,” because he studied culture.
My next post will be an
informative article by Jill Bremer which will offer additional specifics on the
kinds of space, positioning, and distances in the business sector. However, the
complexities of ministry everywhere make an understanding of this subject a
high priority.
How
have you observed the use of space in your ministry?
Would
there be any value in teaching about issues surrounding space?
Would
you be willing to share an embarrassing moment you experienced?
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